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For a long time, a leader was seen as a naturally inspiring hero who ended up guiding other individuals towards a goal or a dream. There was a sort of magic around them. We could fantasize about what they did to climb up and lead.
But that storybook version of a leader isn’t realistic – in most cases – any longer. The leaders of today live in another world, face other challenges and have different purposes.
Ever heard the saying, “What got you here won’t get you there?”
This quote is the anthem of resilience. And this is what leadership is all about now.
If you’re reading this, it’s because you want to have an impact and change things. You have the ambition to improve the world – even if it’s at your own scale.
You want to make things better.
It’s power that you want.
And you’re in the right place, because what I do as a CX design and leadership coach is give you the tools to get your power back!
I don’t deliver recipes. I offer you options to explore until it clicks. And I do that in the most radically human way.
I truly believe this statement. And now I’d like to explore the attitude of a modern leader. What this skill has become.
And yes, it’s a skill. Some like to debate about whether leadership is innate or something to nurture… but it’s a skill, and we all have a different journey experiencing and growing it.
People have been ruling the idea of leadership for a while. They describe a leader as someone with charisma, strength and great empathy. They say a leader should be this, that and the other. You easily end up with a list that would give any superhero imposter syndrome!
When you ask yourself if you’d be a good leader, it’s not easy to answer the question. There are so many things you’re not that you end up drowning in doubts. And a leader doesn’t have doubts, right!? They’re too busy leading with all the confidence in the world!
This is all very confusing. There’s no proper guide – no one-size-fits-all formula to becoming that great leader.
Leadership is power. Leaders are impactful. And you want power to drive your impact in the direction you intend.
But with great power comes great responsibility. And to be able to live up to this power, to access your own leadership, to become that modern leader, we need to explore the three dimensions of leadership.
Let’s go through them together.
When we imagine a leader, we think about their impact on other people. It’s normal. We’re obsessed with other people. It’s how we’re wired. As social creatures, our survival depends on them. It’s always been this way, and even if we now live in a world where we can be independent from each other, we still have this strong social behavior. You can’t help it. It’s a cave-person reflex. A legacy.
But the real deal for improving your sense of leadership is to focus on yourself.
Understand exactly how you function. Develop your own emotional intelligence. Establish your own agency. Before you go out there and claim power and responsibility, you need to get your shit together.
So, how do you do this? By using the right tools. The most efficient ones are:
This is what some will call self-care or self-development. I call it developing your self-awareness. Being aware of who you are, what you want and for what reasons before you impact the world.
These tools are basic hygiene for any modern leader. And once you’re familiar with them, they’re useful when you’re guiding other people. Finding your own recipe is key. You can then pull out these tools as backup every time you have to step out of your comfort zone.
The group of people you surround yourself with can be broad or small. That’s your choice. It can be your family, friends, team at work, online groups, whatever. This is your direct environment. The place you evolve on a daily basis.
Being a leader in this sense is not about bossing people around so that they do what you want. It’s about using your emotional intelligence – which includes proper empathy and compassion – to figure out if what you feel belongs to you or the person you’re interacting with. You want to be able to understand the other person or the situation.
And for this, communication is key. You can develop your emotional intelligence in relation with others once you develop it with yourself. You need to be solid with the practice of your own self-leadership.
You want to inspire people to take action. People need the space to access that inspiration. They need the space to be themselves, where their own functioning, their own leadership, has room to grow. This community is unique, and all the people inside it are also unique and are on a different path of the leadership journey.
The power you’re looking for here is the one of being a generous leader with compassion and curiosity for your community. This is the power of collaboration taking into account the power of each and everyone around you. The key tools are emotional intelligence (again), boundaries, nonviolent communication, and education.
This might sound like a lot of work… right?! But with the right tools and consistent practice on yourself, you can enable it. If it feels like too much work right now, you probably have some more work to do on yourself. It’s important you see this process as a loop, one step feeding the other continuously.
This final point includes everything outside of the first two. Know that your decisions and actions will impact other people. If you’re launching products, messages, services, anything you throw out there will have an impact. So having the right tools that make you a modern leader will maximize the impact you intend to provide.
It’s a ripple effect. And it’s powerful. But you’ve had this power all along. What you need is practice to build the mindset that goes with your power.
We can all develop it, and we can all grow it. I do it with my clients constantly.
You get the picture: coaching is a wonderful tool for developing leadership. And I also use human design in my guidance. This is another tool. A personality test without the questions. It forces you to get out of your head for a moment and connect with all of you: your body, your sensations, your emotions. And we seriously need that. We are not connected enough.
With some personal information, I create a fully unique design where we explore your strategy, inner authority and conditioning, because it offers a conscious and unconscious vision of yourself. We can also explore what kind of contribution will make you a modern leader. But more specifically, an aligned leader.
This is a very powerful tool that I use with my coachee for one-time clarity sessions or through a whole leadership upgrade trajectory.
I don’t just read the design for you. I help you explore it so you can find your own resources and solutions to your current challenges. I’ve done all the personality tests that exist out there and it’s by far the one I find the most powerful. So that’s why I adopted it, trained to use it, and integrated it into my coaching practice.
We are all leaders by design. We all have different skills that will make us leaders at a proper time, for a specific purpose – and that’s beautiful.
So don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you’re ready for your leadership upgrade. And go check out the podcast description above as I’ve dropped some interesting links in there for you!
PS: If you liked this podcast, you might also like the Leader by Design offer I have.
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